Hermy's fic

Hermypotter walked down the wide halls of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was only two months ago when she first walked downs these halls. She had many "interesting" yet great friends. She flashed back to the year before when BellaLestrange had made VictoriaG kiss AzkabanSirius. She would never forgot the look on Lily_Potter's face when she had found out. She also remembered the time when DanFan had set camels after KevinIsZeus.
Hermy smiled to herself. It would be so fun to be back with all of them. She turned at the corner of the hall, dragging her suitcase by her side. She peered though the large open doors of the Great Hall. She spotted AzkabanSirius and Lily_Potter talking near Gryffindor table.
"I knew this was going to happen!" Lily cried, "You never liked me!"
"Lils," Az said, "What are you talking about?"
"Oh...don't try to act dumb, Mr. Kiss-Another-Women-Behind-My-Back!" Lily said, fiercely.
"Whaâ€“? How?" Az stuttered, "Now how told you that?"
"Bella!" Lily said, "BellaLestrange! She said...she said that you kissed Vicky!"
"She kissed me!" Az said.
"See! You do admit you kissed her!" Lily slapped Az around a bit with a large trout. "And I know that you call fourteen year old girls you meet over the internet!"
Hermy grinned. Lily and Az were the most interesting couple around. No one could make her laugh like they did. She walked over to her right where GabriellePotter-Malfoy and Slyffindor22 were talking about their summer.
"It was so awesome!" Gabby said in her strong Texan accent, "My family and I rode horses to the oil fields to have us a picnic...and Whoooie! Those were some of the biggest squirrels I have ever eaten!"
Slyff smiled. "I'm sure you had a great time, Gabby." Hermy watched as LadyBlack came over to the group, only to be tackled by Gabby. Hermy laughed; Lady always seemed to be attacked.
Hermy left her suitcase near the entrance and walked into the Hall. She looked around at the ceiling that resembled the night sky. Her view was blocked by none other than the most random person in the whole school: Merry.
"Hey Merry," Hermy said.
"Hiya Hermy, "Merry said merrily. "How was the break?"
"It was fineâ€”" Hermy started
"Oh that's great!" Merry said, "Say, do you know what is up with Listerine Pocket Pants?"
Hermy stared at him. "Er...how about I get back to you on that?" Merry nodded. Hermy moved to the Ravenclaw table where BellaLestrange was scribbling away in her notebook, talking to herself. Bella was the smartest kid she knew, apart from Hermione Granger. DanFan walked in dreamily, grinning madly.
"Hey, fanny..." Hermy said.
DanFan sighed. "Hello Hermy." She plopped herself onto the seat. "Good God...he's so hot!" Hermy knew immediately that she was talking about none other that Harry Potter himself. Hermy leaned forward and whispered, "You'll get him this year."
"I hope so," DanFan said, "Unless that Hermione Granger gets in the way."
"Well, I am and Harry and Hermione shipper, you know," Hermy said. DanFan gave her the look of death.
"Er...I'll be over there," Hermy quickly walked over Hufflepuff table, where KevinIsZeus and Dobby were talking. "They are pure evil, I'm telling you. Listen to words of a wise manâ€”"
Dobby coughed.
"Stay away from the camels," Kevin concluded. He gathered his stuff and walked out. "And don't drink and drive...you might spill your beer. Good Night, ladies."
Hermy and Dobby looked at each other, and then fell into silent giggles.

Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Ahem. May I please have your attention?" The Hall kept minding there own business. "Students! Students!" The Hall continued to talk.
Professor McGonagall stood up. "SHADDUP, You friggin' devils!" she said sharply. The room fell silent and everyone took they're seats. Hermy found any empty seat at the Ravenclaw table and sat down.
"The Sorting Ceremony will now began," Dumbledore stated. The timid first years took turns sitting on the fateful stool. The ceremony finally ended with Zachary Zamboniansonton. Professor Dumbledore stood up one last time. "Before we get too befuddled with our excellent feast, I'd like to say a few wordsâ€”"
"Hey!" Az said, "You said the same thing few years ago! Get a better writer!" Lily slapped Az around a bit with a large trout.
"Like I was saying," Dumbledore continued, flashing his eyes. "We have two new Hogwarts teachers added this year. Professor AdonnaTonks will be taking Professor Trelawney's place as the Divination teacher and Professor AmazingBouncingFerret as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."
Hermy nearly fell over. Pippin? AmazingBouncingFerret?! Defense Against the Dark Arts?! Pippin was everything except dark. Defense Against the Dark Arts would be very interesting this year...
"Professor Pippin has requested a few words." Dumbledore said. Pippin approached the middle.
"Thank ya, Dumbo," she said. "I would just like to say how great it is to be back walking down these halls! It seemed like it was only yesterday I was eating the great food..."
"It was yesterday, you freeloader!" a house-elf squeaked.
"I am going to be the best teacher this side of Hogwarts has ever seen!" she confidently said. At that moment, Professor Adonna stood up.
"Professor," she said to Dumbledore, "I assure you, I will be the hardest working teacher here."
"Oh yeah?" Pippin said.
"Yeah!" Adonna answered.
"Okay!" Dumbledore broke the growls the two professors were giving each other. "Let's wish them both good luck!"
The clapping died down and the new professors sat down. Adonna and Pippin gave nasty looks at each other, their nostrils flared with anger. Surly, they both had some problems to work out.
The feast began and soon ended, leaving everyone tired and full. Hermy caught up with the girls: Lily, Fanny, Slyff, Gabby, Vicky, Dobby, Bella and Lady. "Oh my Godrick!" Lady said. "I saw him on the train!"
"Oh! Was he ridiculously hot!?" Gabby asked. Lady nodded. All the girls sighed.
"Big G! Big G!" Kevin called, "How's Jester...I hear Nam's brutal!"
Gabby slapped Kevin around a bit with a large trout. "Kevin...first of all: DON'T CALL ME BIG-G! Second: I DON'T LIKE JESTER! Why do you do this to me?"
"Because," Kevin said.
"Because what?" Gabby asked.
"Just because," he said, and then he left. Gabby's scoffed.
Suddenly, fast tone music started playing. A tall boy came in, closely followed by a dozen girls. "Buckbeak..." Hermy mouthed. Beaky was a surly one of the handsomest guys in Hogwarts. The only girls that thought differently were Bella and DanFan.
"Harry is so much hotter!" Fanny said.
"Oh, my Neville could beat Beaky any day!" Bella would say.
The only girl Beaky would actually notice was Bunny, a tall blonde that always got her man. She passed by the group of girls, her hair waving. Gabby's eye's narrowed. "Bunny..."
"Sorry I was late, Professor McGonagall...Someone forgot to refill the milk bag," Beaky said.
"Whatever, you little brat!" McGonagall hissed. "C'mon! C'mon! Move it along! Go to your common rooms! Good night! And see you all in Hell!" She left the hall, laughing her evil laugh.
Hermy and the rest of her classmates went up to their dormitories. They all fell asleep quickly, hearing only the loud snores from president-starbabe.